Visual Velocity

Essential Movies: 2011

2012-01-21T02:37:00.001-08:00

To celebrate its fifth anniversary, youTube asked fans to film a day in their lives. The videos were shot on the same day, July 24, 2010, and they followed the three themes set by the producers: 1. "What's your story?" 2. "What have you got in your pockets?" and 3. "What do you fear?"

Film editor Joe Walker and his team edited 4,500 hours of footage into a two-hour movie. The resulting documentary, directed by Kevin Macdonald (The Last King of Scotland) and produced by Ridley Scott (Alien, Gladiator), is an eye-opener: an amalgam of the hopes, dreams and aspirations of people from the four corners of the world.

Life in a Day is a fitting end (and a great beginning) to a New Year that will, fingers crossed, be better for everybody.

2011 was a memorable year for Cinemalaya, local stalwart of independent filmmaking. Festival goers were treated to a deluge of unforgettable showstoppers including Jade Castro's likable ghoulish horror romp (Zombadings 1: Patayin sa shokot si Remington), Alvin Yapan's exquisite opus (Ang Sayaw ng Dalawang Kaliwang Paa) and Benito Bautista's understated thriller (Boundary).

Of course, 2011 wouldn't be complete without Raya Martin's psychedelic time caper (Buenas noches, España), Wim Wenders' kinetic dance-fest (Pina) and this year's best martial arts movie (Peter Chan's stylized Wu xia).

Here's to risque movies, maverick filmmakers and ballsy actors willing to cut their paycheck for independent filmmaking. Bottoms up.

Essential Magazine Covers: 2011

2011-12-29T09:19:00.000-08:00

He produced and directed a documentary (Saturday Night), smooched Sean Penn in Gus Van Sant's Milk (2008), wrote fiction (Palo Alto), dabbled in hosting (twice for "Saturday Night Live" and once for the Academy Awards), took an MFA in Columbia University's writing program, and capped 2010 by posing as a transvestite for photographer Terry Richardson on the cover of Candy—a fashion magazine for transsexuals.

A fearless subject, a maverick, and a photographer's darling, he was featured in several magazine covers. The most notorious is the one he did for Flaunt, a progressive magazine known for its dual covers. Scroll down for a preview.

Before doing so, check out some of this year's most memorable magazine covers.

. 1 .

Alexander Skarsgard

Interview, June 2011

. 2 .

Penélope Cruz

V, July 2011

. 3 .

Robert Pattinson

Vanity Fair, April 2011

. 4 .

Spider-Man

The New Yorker, 17 January 2011

. 5 .

Granta, summer 2011

. 6 .

Alexander Skarsgård

Out, November 2011

. 7 .

Freida Pinto

Interview, August 2011

. 8 .

James Franco

Flaunt, 2011

Essential Trailers: 2011

2011-12-23T11:23:00.000-08:00

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy's trailer is everything a trailer should be—short, thrilling and surprisingly engaging. It's hard to warm up to a spy movie populated by senior, aging actors (Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, John Hurt), but the trailer's tight editing and superb music (Danny Elfman's Wolf Suite Pt 1) assert that this movie will easily hold up against any wham-bang, big movie out there. You hear that, Mr. Tom Mission-Impossible-Ghost-Protocol Cruise?

Here are five standout trailers from 2011. The other one's unofficial, but who cares right?

. 1 .
X-Men: First Class

. 2 .
Carnage

. 3 .
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

. 4 .
Pina

. 5 .
Drive

(unofficial trailer)

Essential Track: 2011

2011-12-23T05:24:00.000-08:00

The Chromatics' addictive, techno thumpin' track, "Tick Of The Clock," sets the tone of Drive to a tee.

Time to boogie, Mr. Gosling.

Colin Farrell in Esquire UK, October 2011

2011-09-10T07:58:00.000-07:00

“When you’re having more one-night stands in a week than there are nights in a week, something is out of whack in the universe.”

_______________

**Quote: Colin Farrell, photograph: Martin Schoeller

Venice Film Festival 2011: Highlights

2011-09-04T05:52:00.001-07:00

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (UK/France)
Director Tomas Alfredson Cast Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Tom Hardy Plot An agent is forced out of retirement when a Soviet mole is discovered in the MI6. Why watch? Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy is directed by Swedish filmmaker Tomas Alfredson, the guy behind the artsy vampire flick, Let the Right One In (2008). First impression Impeccable. First rate thriller for the thinking man.

Shame (UK)

Director Steve McQueen Cast Michael Fassbender, Carey Mulligan, Nicole Beharie Plot A rabid nympho goes bonkers when his rebel sister shows up. First Impression Dark. Disturbing. Edgy. Expect a seamless screenplay by McQueen and stirring images by frequent collaborator, Sean Bobbitt (Hunger).

Carnage (US/France)
Director Roman Polanski Cast Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz Plot Sparks fly when two sets of parents do a meet and greet. What's the 411? The film is based on Yasmina Reza's play, God of Carnage. X-factor Kate Winslet. This woman has spunk. Memorable line "I'm glad our son kicked the shit out of your son! I wipe my ass with your human rights!" First impression A fine balance of good direction and superb acting; memorable

Alps (Greece)
Director Yorgos Lanthimos Cast Aris Servetalis, Johnny Vekris, Aggeliki Papoulia Plot While Dogtooth (2009) is about deception through fabrication, Alps is its antithesis. Go figure. What's the 411? The script wasn't followed rigidly during filming. New scenes were added and actors improvised occasionally. Why watch? It's been two long years since Dogtooth. We want a Yorgos Lanthimos movie. Now. First impression Right balance of quirk, humor and art cred; sly and disarming

Wuthering Heights (UK)
Director Andrea Arnold Cast Kaya Scodelario, Nichola Burley, James Howson Plot A retelling of Emily Brontë's classic novel of love gone wrong. Why watch? It's not everyday that we see a gritty, contemporary filmmaker do a romantic period drama. What's the 411? Michael Fassbender and Ed Westwick were among the actors considered for the role of Heathcliff. Arnold eventually broke conventions by settling for a colored actor (James Howson). First impression It looks believable, "real" and unrehearsed. It is never too sentimental. Thank God.

Anne Hathaway in Interview, September 2011

2011-09-03T05:51:00.000-07:00

"Not living up to the expectations of the director is pretty terrifying. Being exposed as a fraud, that's pretty terrifying."

"I may not be the best [actress] in the world, but I love my craft more than anything."

"Marrying your best friend is the new fairy tale."

"Whatever you are made of, be the best of that."

_______________

**Quotes: Anne Hathaway, photographs: Marcus Piggott & Mert Alas

Film Preview: September 2011

2011-08-27T07:53:00.000-07:00

Drive

Release date 09.16.2011 (U.S.) Director Nicolas Winding Refn Cast Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan, Bryan Cranston Plot If 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003) only had substance, this is how it would look like. What's the 411? Gosling was given his choice of director when he signed up for Drive. He chose Nicolas Winding Refn, a Danish filmmaker best known for Bronson (2008). Buckle up. Kudos Although it didn't win the Palme d'Or in this year's Cannes, Drive clinched the Prix de la mise en scène for Refn. First impression Drive is a gearhead's wet dream fully realized. Adrenaline will be oozing down their nostrils.

Contagion

Release date 09.09.2011 (U.S.) Director Steven Soderbergh Cast Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Jude Law Plot A viral epidemic sets a team of doctors scampering for a cure. Star wattage As if Damon, Winslet and Law are not enough, Contagion also features Gwyneth Paltrow, Marion Cotillard and Laurence Fishburne. It's more than your regular burger: it's a Big Mac. First Impression Wolfgang Petersen's Outbreak (1995) and M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening (2008) drove people away from the cineplex and got critics gagging. They want a reenactment for 2011 with Contagion.

The Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975

Release date 09.09.2011 (U.S.) Director Göran Olsson Cast Angela Davis, Stokely Carmichael, Bobby Seale Plot Swedish filmmaker Göran Olsson strings together various footage of the Black Power Movement into a well-crafted documentary. What's the 411? Footages used in the movie were taken from the spools of film discovered by Olsson in the dusty basement of a television building in Sweden. First impression Trippy. An eye-opener. You'll like.

50/50

Release date 09.30.2011 (U.S.) Director Jonathan Levine Cast Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogen, Anna Kendrick Plot Twenty-seven-year-old Adam doesn't smoke, he doesn't drink and he recycles, so life decides to throw him a curveball: he gets cancer. What's the 411? James McAvoy was originally set to play Adam. The role eventually went to Gordon-Levitt. McAvoy must be grinning right now. Annoying factor Seth Rogen and his big voice Saving grace Bryce Dallas Howard, Anjelica Huston and Philip Baker Hall provide a much needed respite from Rogen's vexing vibe. First impression Looks anemic and sappy. Call 911.

Moneyball

Release date 09.23.2011 (U.S.) Director Bennett Miller Cast Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill, Philip Seymour Hoffman Plot Held back by lack of funds, Oakland's general manager resorts to non-traditional means of scouting players for his baseball team. Why should we care? Moneyball is Miller's first movie after he directed Hoffman in his breakthrough movie, Capote, six years ago. Level of predictability High. Watch the trailer. Saving grace Philip Seymour Hoffman First impression Moneyball is this year's Jerry Maguire. Like we need another Jerry Maguire?

Essential Movie Posters: August 2011

2011-08-20T07:19:00.000-07:00

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Tag line "Evolution becomes revolution" Designed by Art Machine Why it matters Clever use of light and shadows. Intense. What the poster is trying to tell us It's going to be dark. It's going to be serious. Prepare to go ape-shit.

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy

Tag line "A comedy about old friends in new positions" Designed by cold open Why it matters It doesn't have an overblown face in it. Why? Because none of the cast are Hollywood crowd-drawers, that's why. What the poster is trying to tell us Expect sex. Lots of sex.

Griff the Invisible

Tag line "He's a dreamer... stuck in the real world." Designed by cold open Why it matters Clever twist on the superhero, dual identity schtick; shows how the real intersects with the unreal in a flat, two-dimensional world What the poster is trying to tell us The dude's a schizo.

One Day

Tag line "Twenty years. Two people..." Designed by Mojo Why it matters Uncanny sense of urgency. Fleeting and temporal, as if everything will change in a nano second What the poster is trying to tell us PDA is making a comeback. Word.

Daniel Craig in Esquire, August 2011

2011-08-13T04:34:00.000-07:00

"All of [a] sudden I'm getting magazine covers when I got nothing for ten years."

Tilda Swinton in W, August 2011

2011-08-06T06:34:00.000-07:00

"When I brought my Oscar home and showed the children, nobody knew what it was. The thing sat on the kitchen table for two weeks."

"It’s every pregnant woman’s nightmare to give birth to the devil."

"I don’t think I’m courageous. One man’s courage is another man’s comfort zone."

"There’s no preparation for having children."

"The Greeks speak about the violence of the real. I want to get at something real."

Zombadings: Patayin sa Shokot si Remington

2011-07-30T01:58:00.000-07:00

An irrevocable curse, a laser-zapping serial killer and zombies — gay zombies. Who wouldn't be interested in a movie like Zombadings: Patayin sa shokot si Remington?

Jade Castro's gay themed horror film closed this year's Cinemalaya, attracting a bevy of eager moviegoers.

In the movie, Remington (played by acting dynamo Mart Escudero) overcomes his prejudice when he experiences first hand what it's like to be gay.

Just like Remington, most of the gay characters in the movie are stereotypes — cardboard cutouts of people made for the silver screen. They walk, speak and act the same way.

Pigeonholes, together with the movie's blunt humor, give the movie an air of crudeness and inconsideration. People with strong opinions about gender issues: steer clear.

Because Zombadings is a parody of the gay/horror movie genre, watch it with a grain of salt. Suppress your inner Roger Ebert and avoid over analyzing the movie's sociological significance. Accept it for what it is and enjoy Mart Escudero's acting chops. This kid’s bursting with talent.

There’s a new Eugene Domingo in the house, and he’s male.

_______

Release date August 31, 2011 (Philippines) Director Jade Castro Cast Mart Escudero, Janice de Belen, Eugene Domingo Scene-stealer Roderick Paulate. Stellar as always. Essential Onscreen Weaponry The serial killer's laser gun slash gaydar Verdict Nonstop laughs and witty banter from the talented ensemble make Zombadings worth watching.

Cinemalaya 2011

2011-07-21T10:36:00.000-07:00

Ang Babae sa Septic Tank

Category New Breed (in competition) Director Marlon Rivera Cast Eugene Domingo, JM de Guzman, Kean Cipriano Plot A parody of independent filmmaking in the Philippines Essential actress The goddess has landed. Eugene Domingo shows tyros how it's done. Scene-stealer None, Eugene slayed them all. Verdict Next to Zombadings, it's the most commercially viable film in the festival.

Ang Sayaw ng Dalawang Kaliwang Paa

Category New Breed (in competition) Director Alvin Yapan Cast Jean Garcia, Paulo Avelino, Rocco Nacino Plot Love made more poignant by dance and poetry Verdict Notable for cinematographer Arvin Viola's heartbreaking images, Sayaw is visually engaging.

Niño

Category New Breed (in competition) Director Loy Arcenas Cast Fides Cuyugan Asensio, Shamaine Buencamino, Tony Mabesa Plot Family members bicker and grudges resurface when the patriarch of the house suffers from a stroke. Memorable scene The dinner confronatation sequence (can of worms is an understatement) Scene-stealer Actor Joaquin Valdez's Reinhard is a scorcher. Verdict Strong contender for Best Picture

Cuchera

Category New Breed (in competition) Director Joseph Isarel Laban Cast Maria Isabel Lopez, Simon Ibarra, Paolo Rivero Plot A night in the life of novice drug mules Shock value High. Full frontal? Check. Drugs? Check. Okra as a lubricant? Check. Verdict Riveting, but the ending feels rushed

Bisperas
Category Directors Showcase (in competition) Director Jeffrey Jeturian Cast Tirso Cruz III, Raquel Villavicencio, Julia Clarete Plot A family unravels as wounds open and grudges resurface on Christmas eve. Scene-stealer Julia Clarete shines in a role that fits her like second skin. Verdict Tight editing and good ensemble acting make it worthwhile.

Busong

Category Directors Showcase (in competition) Director Auraeus Solito Cast Alessandra de Rossi, Clifford Bañagale, Dax Alejandro Plot Four tales of death and rebirth interweave seamlessly in Palawan. What's the 411? The first of a planned trilogy, Busong is Solito's most personal movie yet. Verdict Inspired, lyrical and technically accomplished; one of the year's most relevant films

Boundary

Category NETPAC (in competition) Director Benito Bautista Cast Ronnie Lazaro, Raymond Bagatsing, Edwin Pamanian Plot A night in the life of a cabbie and the passenger that changed his life Essential actor Raymond Bagatsing shines, but it's Ronnie Lazaro who brings the house down. Verdict The festival's must-watch movie

Gayuma

Category NETPAC (in competition) Director Alvin Yapan Cast Mercedes Cabral, Kalil Almonte Plot A girl's affection for the village sacristan is tested by faith and circumstance. What's the 411? Made on a shoestring budget, Gayuma is Alvin Yapan's ode to his roots. Memorable scene Delfin (Kalil Almonte) fleeing from a floating, talking Sto. Niño Verdict Bad acting and jerky camera movements ruin an otherwise unique, interesting movie.

Paglipad ng Anghel
Category Special Screening (out of competition) Director Clodualdo Del Mundo Jr. Cast Sid Lucero, LJ Moreno, Christian Vasquez Plot After helping an elderly, angel wings grow on the back of a young man. Acting revelation Sid Lucero whips up a storm as a man in doubt. Verdict Far from perfect, but charming nonetheless.

Zombadings: Patayin sa Shokot si Remington
Category Closing film (out of competition) Director Jade Castro Cast Mart Escudero, Janice de Belen, Eugene Domingo Plot A gay themed zombie flick with a twist Essential actor Mart Escudero gives a career-defining performance as Remington, a hapless boy on the verge of gaydom. Verdict A blockbuster in the making. Insanely funny.

Essential Photography: 2009

2011-07-10T07:08:00.000-07:00

Actor Andrew Garfield and model Lily Cole

Inspired by the Metropolitan Opera's production of Hänsel und Gretel, Vogue Creative Director Grace Coddington and photographer Annie Leibovitz give the classic fairy tale a sublime twist. Hansel and Gretel are no longer children, but adults. The wicked witch, likewise, ages backwards.

These photographs were published in Vogue's December 2009 issue, the year Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus was released. Two of Imaginarium's young stars — the eternally boyish Andrew Garfield and the doll-like model, Lily Cole — were cast as Hansel and Gretel.

As for the wicked witch, they got a feisty lady named Lady Gaga. Good choice.

•••

Essential Movies: 2009

2011-07-03T11:15:00.001-07:00

Agrarian Utopia (Thailand)

Director Uruphong Raksasad Won UNESCO Award (Asia Pacific Screen Awards) Plot A rural farmer loses his job, forcing him to look for work in the big city Beauty Shots Cinematographer Uruphong Raksasad's lingering takes of rural landscape and gorgeous sunsets Extreme Gastronomy Insects? Check. Dogs? Check. Snakes? Double check.

In the Loop (UK)

Director Armando Iannucci Won Best Screenplay (New York Film Critics Circle Awards) Plot A fictionalized version of events that lead to the 2003 invasion of Iraq Golden Line "You sure you're working as hard as I am? I'm sweating spinal fluid here!" What's the 411? The role of Malcolm Tucker, sharp tongue and all, is allegedly based on Tony Blair's former director of communications and strategy, Alastair Campbell. Scene Stealer Peter Capaldi. 'Nuff said.

Mother (South Korea)

Director Joon-ho Bong Won Best Actress (Los Angeles Film Critics Association Awards) Plot A whodunit crime flick involving a mentally unstable young man and his stubborn, iron-willed mother Indelible Scene Actress Hye-ja Kim's surprise dance sequence. She's no John Travolta, but she definitely has the moves down pat.

Eyes Wide Open (Israel)

Director Haim Tabakman Won Grand Prix (Ghent International Film Festival) Plot A Jewish man's affair with a young male drifter results in social estrangement and isolation. Essential Actors Ran Danker is the perfect foil to Zohar Shtrauss. Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain don't even measure up.

The Breath (Turkey)

Director Levent Semerci Won Best Film (Yeşilçam Awards) Plot A small group of dedicated soldiers defends a relay station against terrorists. What's the 411? The film is based on the 1992 PKK terrorist attack. Twenty-two soldiers died.

Moon (USA)

Director Duncan Jones Won Outstanding Debut by a British Director (BAFTA Awards) Plot A family man yearns for home after being stationed in the Moon for three straight years. Indelible Scene Sam Rockwell dancing. Forget Travolta. When it comes to swing-till-you-drop moves, Sam's the man.

A Serious Man (USA)

Directors Ethan Coen and Joel Coen Won Best Original Screenplay (National Board of Review) Plot A Jewish man's faith in God and in himself is tested as his professional and domestic life go down the drain. Essential Actor A Serious Man wouldn't be as good as it is without theater pro Michael Stuhlbarg. .

Boy (Philippines)

Director Auraeus Solito Plot A young boy falls for a male hustler. Essential Scene On New Year's eve, Aeious goes to bed with Aries. Afterwards, his mother bangs on his door and shouts,"Bilisan niyo! Putukan na!" What's the 411? Although invited to compete in the Silver Screen Awards, the film was banned by Singapore's Board of Film Censors (BFC). Surprise, surprise.

The Limits of Control (USA)

Director Jim Jarmusch Plot A solitary assassin tracks his target, following leads from strangers prone to discussing philosophy, cinema and the metaphysical. Essential Actor Isaach De Bankolé's face is a landscape of restraint and immobility. Sheer brilliance. Beauty Shots Every scene, every angle is achingly beautiful. Kudos to Cinematographer Christopher Doyle.

The Beaver (2011)

2011-06-20T02:46:00.000-07:00

Release Date TBA (Philippines) Director Jodie Foster Cast Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster, Anton Yelchin, Riley Thomas Stewart

Walter's chronic depression is taking its toll on his domestic life. It prompted his wife to throw him out of their house, and his son to call him life's biggest "nut job." Desperate, he uses a toy beaver to reconnect with his family, his peers, and most importantly, with himself.

Time has done nothing but strengthen Jodie Foster's bond with Mel Gibson. It's been 17 long years since Maverick (1994) — their first onscreen partnership — and Foster is standing by Gibson despite the latter's predisposition for controversy.

With Gibson, talent goes hand in hand with bravado and offhand eccentricities. These didn't prevent Foster — who acted in, as well as directed The Beaver — from getting an earnest performance from the 55-year-old actor. Although predictable and hopelessly sappy, Gibson's Walter Black makes an otherwise cliché domestic drama, worth your buck.

____________

* This piece was written with Raft3r in mind, the world's most persistent Jodie Foster fan.

X-Men: First Class (2011)

2011-05-15T02:22:00.000-07:00

Release Date June 2011 (USA) Director Matthew Vaughn Cast James McAvoy (Charles Xavier), Michael Fassbender (Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto), Kevin Bacon (Sebastian Shaw), January Jones (Emma Frost/White Queen)

English producer and director Matthew Vaughn directs X-Men: First Class, giving the 11-year-old franchise a new beginning. Since Layer Cake (a crime caper featuring bombshell Sienna Miller and a pre-James Bond Daniel Craig), Vaughn has been slowly making his mark in mainstream filmmaking. He got his first taste of Hollywood with last year's Kick-Ass, a crowd-pleasing, fist pumping popcorn flick he directed and co-wrote.

If Kick-Ass is of any indication, X-Men: First Class is going to be an in your face, no holds barred roller-coaster ride.

Looks good.

Megan Fox and Rafael Nadal for Armani Jeans

2011-05-01T07:04:00.001-07:00

Your thoughts have been free of prurient thoughts these past few weeks. Here's a little something to get you back on track: Megan Fox in Armani Jeans.

Tagging along is nine-time Grand Slam champion Rafael Nadal. Vamos.

Star Wars Death Star Cookie Jar

2011-04-23T02:18:00.000-07:00

It might be a little too much for the conventional cookie muncher, but for the die-hard Jedi freak, this is heaven-sent. Viewed from afar (it measures 12x12), it’s almost as tall as Yoda — lying I am not.

Although its sculpted ceramic frame makes it the ideal ice-cooler and candy bowl, its death-like veneer makes it inappropriate for children’s parties and bar mitzvahs. Save this for Halloween and Star Wars sleepovers (Palpatine will be thrilled).

Magical Realms UK Stamp Set (2011)

2011-03-20T05:59:00.000-07:00

Michael Gambon (Albus Dumbledore), Ralph Fiennes (Lord Voldemort) and

Tilda Swinton (The White Witch) in UK's Magical Realms UK Stamp Set

Thanks to the Internet, courier services and portable communication devices, postal stamps have been relegated to the Almost Obsolete Club. In its heyday, stamps from the Isle of Man were the Holy Grail. Now-a-days, kids are going nuts with the glitzy Katy Perry Electronic Gift Certificate card. The digital era is in full swing and the odds are stacked against anything tedious, tangible and cumbersome. With the help of moneyed retirees and avid collectors, stamps managed to evade a bleak appointment with the Grim Reaper. Hallelujah!

Now back to more pressing matters....

Today's youth market is as bratty and finicky as ever. It's hard to get noticed when you're not Robert Pattinson, SpongeBob Square Pants or Justin Bieber. That doesn't mean stamps can't try, though. Innovations were made to make snail mail less tiresome. Sticker stamps were developed to address the mess of having to deal with the conventional self-adhesive stamp. Steps were also made to encourage young people to take up philately. (Although I'm not part of the J.K. Rowling target demographic, I found myself rushing online to buy the 2007 FrenchHarry Potter series.)

Most recently, the UK Royal Mail has released the Magical Realms Stamp collection, an eight-piece set featuring wizened wizards, hot witches and a talking lion. Although the legend of King Arthur, Narnia, Discworld and Harry Potter are well-represented, J.R.R. Tolkien's Rings trilogy is not. Where's Gandalf (Ian McKellen) and Saruman (Christopher Lee) when you need them? Sunbathing at the Grey Havens spa?

For now, the icy gaze of the White Witch (Tilda Swinton) is more than enough.

Nice.

Essential Movie Lines: 2009

2011-01-30T02:50:00.000-08:00

When it comes to picking the year's best screenplays, comedies are usually overlooked in favor of heartrending, cry-till-your-kidneys-burst dramas. Too much value is placed on depth and sobriety that we forget how hard it is to come up with a good punchline. Just when we think all is lost,Brüno sashays into our lives and zaps our inner zen. Kudos to scriptwriters Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Mazer and Jeff Schaffer for making crass, deeply offensive jokes slightly bearable. Here's something to remember them by:

Brüno: "So, you were never gay?"
Pastor Jody Trautwein: "Mm-hm."
Brüno: "It's ironic that you should have amazing blowjob lips."
Pastor Jody Trautwein: "These lips were made to praise Jesus!"

Here are more memorable lines from some of 2009's best written movies. Let's start the year with fun and laughter — and, hopefully, less gas.

•••

Mark: "When my grandfather died, there was one candle next to his bed. And the candle started flickering. We all thought it was him going to Heaven, you know?"

Leo: "You don't pass through fire to get to Heaven. I think he went to Hell."

—from Funny People (screenplay by Judd Apatow)

Lt. Gen. George Miller: "You're beautiful."

Karen Clarke: "Oh, thank you. I'm sure you say that to all the girls."

Lt. Gen. George Miller: "Yes, I do, and some of the soldiers, too."

—from In the Loop (screenplay by Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando

Iannucci and Tony Roche)

Headmistress: "He's a Jew? You're aware, I take it, that the Jews killed our Lord?"

Jenny: "And you're aware, I suppose, that our Lord was Jewish?"

—from An Education (screenplay by Nick Hornby)

Sam Bell: "You look like a radioactive tampon—like a banana with a yeast infection."

—from Moon (screenplay by Nathan Parker)

Ryan Bingham: "I thought I was a part of your life."
Alex Goran: "You are an escape. You're a break from our normal lives. You're a parenthesis."
Ryan Bingham: "I'm a parenthesis?"

—from Up in the Air (screenplay by Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner)

Essential Movie Posters: 2009

2010-12-18T07:34:00.000-08:00

Star (2001)

2010-06-09T22:06:00.000-07:00

Genre Short film Director Guy Ritchie Cast Madonna, Clive Owen, Michael Beattie, Troy Aguayo

-----------------

In an interview with Rolling Stone, Madonna gave a lengthy dissertation of her name's inception. "Everyone I know calls me M. Madge is a press thing in England. I heard two versions where it came from. One is that Madge is an English colloquialism, like a name that would suit a housewife, which is the opposite of who I am. The other is that it's short for majesty. I like that one better."

No one, of course, was surprised when she played a bratty, petulant pop royalty in Guy Ritchie's 10-minute short film for BMW, Star. "Coffee!" she shrieks. "I WANT MY COFFEE!"

She's in town for a red carpet engagement and she's running late. "If you keep your eyes on the road instead of on me, we might be getting somewhere," she sneers at her driver (Clive Owen). "I'm gracing this armpit of a town for one night. If you think I'm gonna know the name of the venue in El Arm-Pitto, you're sadly mistaken. Take me wherever!" she barks.

"Let me see what I can do... sir," says her driver.

"Get me out of here!" she screams.

"Madam," he replies, looking at her in the eye. "I'm going to give you the ride of your life."

He keeps his promise and gives her something she'll never forget. With Blur's "Song 2" playing in the background, their car swerves, overtakes other vehicles and zooms past the speed limit.

"You just hang on tight, sir!" he shouts, as he turns the BMW M5 near the sidewalk, sending his passenger slamming against the door. "We'll get you there safely, sir!"

Star is your typical Guy Ritchie movie: brash, funny and immensely entertaining. It's funny how Clive keeps calling Madge "sir" while she's being thrown sideways inside the M5. The look of glee in his face tells me that he's not acting nor pretending. I don't blame him. For some reason, it's comforting to see Madonna get mauled in the backseat of a BMW M5.

____________
To view the film, click here.

New Moon (2009)

2010-05-01T01:35:00.000-07:00

There they are, running around shirtless in the woods. Don't werewolves get cold? What about pneumonia?

"One hundred eight degrees over here," says Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), pointing to his chest.

"My hands are freezing," Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) shivers. "Must be nice never getting cold."

"It's a wolf thing," Jacob answers.

In New Moon, last year's sequel to Twilight, the formerly lanky Jacob Black cuts his hair and beefs up.

"Hello biceps," Bella stares at Jacob.

It's been months since they last saw each other and Ms. Swan is quite taken by the gorgeous, newly rejuvenated lump of flesh she's seeing. Her "vegan" lover, the vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), dumped her on her 18th birthday. "This is the last time you'll see me," he said, then took off.

The breakup deeply affected Bella, pushing her to long bouts of emo moments. "You've disappeared like everything else," she wrote in her journal. "When you left, you took everything with you. It's like a huge hole has been punched through my chest."

That was before she saw Jacob's bulging pecs. These, of course, promptly made her change her mind. "He makes me feel better," she said, referring to her studly werewolf friend. "I mean, he makes me feel alive. The hole in my chest... well, when I'm with Jake it's like it's almost healed for a while."

When Bella's rendezvous with her motorcycle resulted in a near fatal road mishap, I started having migraine.

"Oh man, your head," Jacob says, promptly taking off his shirt to wipe her wound.

Bella blushed.

"You're sort of beautiful," she says.

Jacob smiles. "How hard did you hit your head?"

My thought exactly. How hard did Bella hit her head? I hope she didn't bump her head too hard. There are two more Twilight movies we have to watch.

Funny People (2009)

2010-04-10T23:58:00.000-07:00

His film career started with Going Overboard (1989), a movie set in a cruise ship teeming with Panamanian mercenaries, Miss Universe contestants and arthritic, aging tourists. What followed is a long chain of ugly, undeniably horrible movies: Shakes the Clown (1991), Airheads (1994), and The Waterboy (1998).

Last year, Adam Sandler surprised everyone by doing Funny People, a movie unlike his previous works. Sandler plays George Simmons, an obnoxious, self-serving comedienne who — despite his life-threatening illness — still finds time to offend people.

“It's too early to know who's winning the fight,” Dr. Lars declares. “The medicine or the disease.”

George frowns. “Did anybody ever tell you, you have a very scary accent?”

“You are a very funny man,” Lars smiles. “I enjoy your movies.”

“And I enjoy all of your movies,” George answers.

“Which movies?”

“The ones where you try to kill Bruce Willis.”

Sandler shines in scenes like this and sucks in weepy, three-hankie sequences. Luckily, Funny People plays to Sandlers’ strength.

Writer-director Judd Apatow allowed Sandler, Seth Rogen (Ira Wright) and Jonah Hill (Leo Koenig) to do stand-up comedy with an actual live audience. They improvised and kept the punchlines rolling till the audience fell on the floor, laughing their uterus (and kidneys) out.

“I masturbate with hand cream I forget people use it for shit other than masturbating,” Ira declares.

The audience cheers.

Funny People isn’t just about green jokes and snide one-liners (“It's not my fault your grandpa is playing backgammon with Hitler!” Leo shouts). It has quiet, tender moments too, like the supermarket scene and George’s stand-up routine in the beginning.

“George Simmons will be gone,” he reveals. “And he's not going to miss any of you. We've always had a strained relationship. You wanted too much from me, and I'm very mad at you.”

It's disturbing how the line between reason and humor gets fuzzy in Funny People. Even though George is dead serious, the audience claps and laughs like there's no tomorrow.

Alice in Wonderland (2010)

2010-02-05T22:07:00.000-08:00

Release Date 5 March 2010 (USA) Director Tim Burton Cast Mia Wasikowska (Alice Kingsley), Johnny Depp (The Mad Hatter), Helena Bonham Carter (The Red Queen), Anne Hathaway (The White Queen)

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"Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid."

Loosely translated, that's "Down with the Red Queen."

In Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, a ragtag group of misfits revolts against The Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter) who — since overthrowing The White Queen (Anne Hathaway) — has been ruling with an iron fist.

Alice returns to Wonderland 10 years after her first visit, reuniting with familiar faces.

"Alice, you're terribly late," the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp) coos. "Naughty."

CGI and motion capture technology helped Tim Burton recreate Wonderland's curious environs. Twenty-year-old Australian actress Mia Wasikowska (Alice) found herself hobnobbing with characters both tangible (The Knave of Hearts played by actor Crispin Glover) and virtual (the March Hare, entirely computer generated).

As for the Mad Hatter and The Red Queen — two of the more memorable characters in Alice in Wonderland — Burton turns on the sympathy button, showing us the very things that make them human. The strange hue of the Mad Hatter's hair and eyes is attributed to mercury poisoning while The Red Queen's temper is said to be caused by a tumor growing in her head.

With Burton's penchance for wit and flair and the film's superb cast of supporting actors (Michael Sheen as the White Rabbit; Alan Rickman as Absolem, the Caterpillar; Christopher Lee as the Jabberwocky), Alice in Wonderland may just be this year's most promising movie.

Essential Ads: 2008

2010-01-16T11:10:00.000-08:00

Louis Vuitton: The Climate Change Project photographed by Annie Leibovitz featuring Francis Ford Coppola, Sofia Coppola and Catherine Deneuve

Disney: Dream Portrait Series photographed by Annie Leibovitz featuring The Little Mermaid (Julianne Moore as Ariel and Michael Phelps), The Sword in the Stone (Roger Federer as King Arthur) and Sleeping Beauty (David Beckham as Prince Phillip)

Burberry photographed by Mario Testino featuring Sam Riley

Gap: Create Your Own Gap photographed by Mikael Jansson featuring Hugh Dancy and Catalina Sandino Moreno

Gap: Holidays Winter 2008 photographed by Michael Thompson featuring Jason Bateman and Jennifer Hudson

Essential Movie Posters: 2008

2010-01-04T01:57:00.000-08:00

Gomorrah (Italy) • Ballast (USA) • Waltz with Bashir (Israel) • Flash of Genius (USA) • The Order of Myths (USA) • Burn After Reading (USA) • La forteresse (Switzerland) • Blindness (Canada/Brazil)

Essential Quotes: 2008

2009-12-18T23:57:00.000-08:00

i. On Jessica Simpson: “Blond like Clorox sunshine. Breasts like plucked guinea hens: undercooked and overstuffed. Jackknifing legs that split the air like seesaws. She’s got that high-maintenance pout. She’s got her own money: She can buy your house just to use the toilet.” —Lisa Taddeo (“The Case for Jessica Simpson”: Esquire, 05.2008)

ii. “The fact that George Clooney is handsome is a priori truth. Triangles have three sides, and Clooney is handsome. Yet the terrible thing about the Net is that even priori truths are called into question.” —AJ Jacobs ("It’s Clooney, by George”: Esquire UK, 11.2008)

iii. “You have high expectations for people because you have high expectations for yourself.” —Gisele Bündchen (“Gossip Girl”: GQ, 07.2008)

iv. “If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it’s like, you can smell the warmth in the fart.” —Megan Fox (“Obsession”: GQ, 12.2008)

v. On her high school life: “I didn’t fit into the popular group. I wasn’t a hippie or a stoner, so I ended up being the weirdo. I was interested in classical ballet and music, and the kids were quite mean if you were different. I was one of those people that people were mean to. When that happened, instead of being a doormat, I decided to emphasize my differences. I didn’t shave my legs. I had hair growing under my arms. I refused to wear makeup, or fit the ideal of what a conventionally pretty girl would look like. So of course I was tortured even more, and that further validated my superiority, and helped me to survive and say, ‘I’m getting out of here, and everyone is a heathen in this school. You don’t even know who Mahler is!’ ” —Madonna ("Madonnarama!": Vanity Fair, 05.2008)

vi. On men: “When we ask you how our asses look in a particular pair of jeans, you should always be brutally honest and completely positive at the same time. How you accomplish this is up to you.” —Leslie Mann ("10 Things You Don't Know About Women"; Esquire, 04.2008)

vii. “Teach your children everything that you're not because they will pick up on everything that you are.” —Rachel Hunter ("What I've Learned"; Esquire, 04.2008)

viii. “I just finished shooting my second film. I’ve got nothing lined up after that. My plan is to see what happens. God laughs when you make plans.” —Sam Riley (“Creative Business”: GQ, 02.2008)

ix. “Big into yoga? Cool. You’re gonna die. Eating nothing but oats and acai berries? Excellent. You’re gonna die. Whatever your name is, it’s soon to be featured on the business side of a tombstone. Your ticket is booked. One way, nonstop to the undiscovered country. You know this already. Everybody does. But it’s easy to forget. Because living, with its drama and its errands, its gossip and its headlines, conspires to make us forget.” —Benjamin Alsup (“Reminder of the Month: Death!”; Esquire, 04.2008)

x. “There's an old saying that God exists in your search for him. I just want you to understand that I ain't looking.” —Leslie Nielsen ("What I've Learned"; Esquire, 04.2008)

Essential Movies: 2008

2009-11-01T01:02:00.000-07:00

Vals Im Bashir/Waltz with Bashir (Israel) • RocknRolla (UK) • Happy-Go-Lucky (UK) • Il y a longtemps que je t'aime/I've Loved You So Long (France) • Rachel Getting Married (USA) • How to Be (UK) • Vicky Cristina Barcelona (USA) • Jay (Philippines) • Chugyeogja/The Chaser (South Korea) • Next Attraction (Philippines)

Jamie Dornan + Eva Mendes for Calvin Klein

2009-09-20T23:36:00.000-07:00

Photographer: Steven Klein Models: Jamie Dornan and Eva Mendes Location: Palm Springs, California

After years of drab, dowdy print ads, Calvin Klein goes back to its roots selling what it sells best: denim, underwear and sex. For its fall campaign, we're given a generous serving of skin, lust and youthful abandon. Joining hottie Eva Mendes in an amorous tete-a-tete is Irish actor Jamie Dornan.

Proceed with caution: sweaty torsos, body hugging jeans and flimsy black underwear ahead.

Megan Fox in GQ

2009-07-19T22:23:00.000-07:00

HOLY #@%^! Megan Fox says it as it is

There she is, licking her lips like a playful little minx.

Terry Richardson's snapshot of Megan Fox for GQ is one of the more memorable photographs from last year (not because of its artistic merit—there's very little of that there—but for its prurient, lascivious appeal).

In writer Mark Kirby's accompanying profile ("Megan Fox Was a Teenage Lesbian"), the 23-year-old actress reveals how she fell for a Russian stripper ("She smelled like vanilla"), how protective she is of comic geeks ("They're not nerds, they're just passionate!") and how much she adores Xbox and Gears of War ("That's the upside of dating a woman who's almost a man. She likes the same things that you like, but she has a vagina!").

When asked if her character, Mikaela Banes, is more fleshed out and complex in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, she replied, "Transformers 2 is directed by Michael Bay."

I never had the urge to watch Transformers, but now, I feel like giving it a go.

Cheen Up, Twiz Your Body

2009-07-04T01:25:00.000-07:00

Yes, we rarely comb our hair.

"I can't believe we're actually combing our hair," Rina said. "After five long years we're at it again."

Jay quickly followed suit, using his fingers to rake his crowning glory.

Yesterday was a momentous occasion: a professional photographer was commissioned to take our picture. We had to comb our hair.

At half past one, we went straight to The Lounge where a woman with curly hair was waiting.

Rina approached the photographer. "Is this for the group pic or is it for the individual pic?"

"Both," she replied. "Sit down."

Rina promptly sat down.

"Okay," the photographer said. "Sit back and turn you head towards me."

Rina obliged.

A camera whirred. Click.

"Cheen up," she ordered.

"Sorry?" Rina asked.

"Raise your cheen like this," the photographer said, pointing to her chin.

"Oh."

Click

"Twiz your body," she ordered.

"Excuse me?"

"Twiz your body," the photographer replied.

"You want me to pluck my body?"

"No," the photographer replied. "I said 'twiz' your body," turning her body to demonstrate

"Oh."

Click.

"Lumiyad ka," the photographer commanded.

"Like this?" Rina asked.

"Wow," Jay snickered. "Parang Kama Sutra na Villa Estrella!"

Click.

"We're done," the photographer said. "You're next."

"Yes Ma'am," I replied nervously.

I sat down, crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.

When Colin Met Sally

2009-06-19T09:08:00.001-07:00

Colin Farrell plays a tormented hitman in Martin McDonagh's In Bruges

Comedies are usually overlooked by the Academy, oftentimes pushed to the sidelines to give way for weepy dramas Kate Winslet and Meryl Streep specialize in. Casualties last year include Happy-Go-Lucky and In Bruges. In the latter, Colin Farrell delivers the goods, shining in the role of Ray, a hitman wracked with guilt and remorse.

"I killed a little boy!" cries Ray.

"Then try to do something good," replies Ken (Brendan Gleeson), his best pal. "You're not going to bring that boy back, but you might save the next one."

"What am I going to be? A doctor?" answers Ray. "You need exams!"

Sharing Ray's naivete is Poppy (Happy-Go-Lucky), an overly optimistic school teacher. Played with sparkling charm by Sally Hawkins, we see an idealistic person completely impervious to worries, anxiety, and good old depression. She's a dying breed alright, but Sally Hawkin's earnest acting makes me believe that irrepressibly cheerful people do exist.

"You can't make everyone happy, Poppy," says Zoe, her best friend.

"There's no harm in trying, is there?" she replies.

Poppy (Sally Hawkins), the perennially cheerful school teacher

What's Tact Got to Do With It?

2009-04-12T22:17:00.000-07:00

Corporate drones may be many things, but tactful isn't one of them.

The person seated to my right accused me of being a virgin. I ignored her and told the girl in front of me that she's a blood-sucking vampire. The person to my left joined in the fray by saying that someone in the office was the same age as Tutankhamun.

I creased my brows. "Tutan-who?"

"King Tut, a long dead pharaoh from Egypt," replied the guy on my right.

"Oh."

"Before, I thought 'Siquijor' literally means land of the whore," said the guy seated beside me. He's European. "We're going there on Holy Week."

"You're in for a surprise," said the girl to my right. "Warlocks and mystics will be converging there next week."

He smiled.

Sister Karma, on the other hand, wasn't too amused. On our way down the elevator, we got stuck midway between the 12th floor and the 11th floor. Someone suggested we force open the steel doors. When we did, we found ourselves facing a concrete wall. Next to GMA's inauguration, it's the most depressing thing I've seen in my entire life.

It was then that we realized that we're trapped. There were seven of us in the elevator and we were sweating like hogs on their way to the butcher shop.

While I panic, the people I'm with seemed to be having the time of their lives. They were taking pictures of themselves, cracking jokes, and laughing like we're in a Bar Mitzvah somewhere in Queens.

When someone at the back declared a state of emergency ("Guys, I feel like farting"), reality suddenly sunk in.

The person in front of me turned around, then banged his hands repeatedly on the wall, saying, "Help, help! Let us out!"

A Day in the Life of Gloria Arrovo (2005)

2009-03-22T22:33:00.001-07:00

Four years ago, the MTRCB squelched the living daylights of A Day in the Life of Gloria Arrovo—a political satire shot in animation. That, of course, didn't prevent good Samaritans from loading brisk 50-second clips in youTube. Although blunt and far from perfect, filmmaker RJ Mabilin's animation shorts are irresistibly charming and likable—a far cry from the woman with black, leathery wings flying in the horizon.

View the videos here and here.

The Man from Manila

2009-03-15T22:15:00.000-07:00

Back in high school, our class was told to do something which required synchronized choreography a la Paula Abdul in "Promise of a New Day."

We decided to do Francis M.'s "Mga Kababayan."

During rehearsals, we let the girls from the Women's Basketball League run the show. They had a field day, testing our dancing chops by making us do the "running man." Those of us who had no qualms shaking their bon-bons were told to stand at the very front; those of us who can't be bothered with the "running man" were told to stand at the very back (me included).

One of the girls had a Sony double deck cassette player—a black, clunky piece of machinery that elicited "oooohs" and "ahhhs" from us hickies. When she played her Francis M. cassette tape, a wave of patriotic pride swept among us, sending an electric jolt straight through our convoluted hearts.

Francis M. unified our disgruntled class, making us realize how cool local music was. We promptly ditched our Wilson Phillips, New Kids on the Block, and Bon Jovi cassette tapes.

For one whole week, we were bona fide Francis M. fans.

American Idol: Semi-Finals, Week 2 (2009)

2009-03-01T21:02:00.000-08:00

Adam gets no satisfaction from Simon

Adam Lambert has mad vocal skills. During performance night, he ended "Satisfaction" with a high pitched sonic wail that left judge Kara DioGuardi bamboozled.

Simon Cowell, on the other hand, was not wholly pleased. "There were parts that were excruciatingly bad and parts that were brilliant. This is going to be one of those love it or hate it performances."

"Love it!" shouted someone from the crowd. And so did everyone—except, of course, Simon.

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

2009-01-20T20:34:00.000-08:00

In 10 Things I Hate About You, Heath Ledger plays Patrick Verona, a scruffy young man who says things like, “I didn't sleep with a Spice Girl — I think.”

Patrick is goaded by Joey Donner (Andrew Keegan) to date Kat Stratford (Julia Stiles), a precocious book worm completely uninterested in romance and all its complications.

Worlds collide, followed by a verbal banter between the foolhardy Patrick and the elusive, cat-like Kat.

"I'll take you places you've never been before," says Patrick.

"Like where?" Kat wonders. "The 7/11 on Broadway?"

Although trivial and predictable, 10 Things I Hate About You struck gold with Heath Ledger. He's amusing, most especially while singing a clunky rendition of “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You.”

Patrick can’t take his eyes off Kat. And Kat, try as she might, can’t help but fall for Patrick’s trailer park charm. When Kat bares her innards through poetry, 10 Things I Hate About You finally gets its groove on.

At that very moment, we're reminded how glorious and prickly high school is.

Hugh Jackman in Empire

2009-01-10T00:07:00.000-08:00

“Hugh's a monster right now,” says actor Liev Schreiber.

Hugh Jackman beefed up for his role as Logan in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and the result is eye-popping. He looks good, and Twentieth Century-Fox is hoping the 40-year-old actor's rugged new image will translate to box-office success.

Bringing credibility and artistic clout to X-Men Origins is South African director Gavin Hood (Tsotsi) and screenplay writer David Benioff (The Kite Runner, 25th Hour). In retelling Logan's checkered past, Benioff is bringing to the fore characters like Victor Creed/Sabretooth (Liev Schreiber), Wade Wilson/Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds), and Remy LeBeau/Gambit (Taylor Kitsch). Hood, meanwhile, hints of great sequences involving these characters and everyone's favorite Canadian loose cannon, Logan.

Empire ushers in the New Year by doing a feature story on X-Men Origins and putting Hugh Jackman on the cover. Considering the gloomy forecast experts are giving for 2009, Jackman's grave expression (coupled with the baleful, sinister clouds gathering in the horizon), is perfect.

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Empire is available @ Mag:Net and Emerald Headway

Ewan McGregor in GQ Japan

2008-12-27T01:49:00.000-08:00

GQ Japan's December 2008 issue grooms actor Ewan McGregor as “The Detective,” a camera-wielding sleuth with a strong predisposition for tailored suits, fedoras, and spying. Squinting with both hands on his camera, McGregor hits the mark by channeling the rabid intensity of a zealous paparazzo.

In his upcoming film, The Men Who Stare at Goats (a Grant Heslov-directed comedy based on Jon Ronson's book of the same title), the 37-year-old actor is Bob Wilton, a foolhardy reporter who accidentally finds himself pursuing the scoop of his life: a clandestine US military unit who can make themselves invisible at will, pass through walls, and slay goats just by looking at them. Say what?

More jaw-dropping is the fact that Ronson's book is categorized as non-fiction.

Now that's a stunner.

Jon Ronson's book, The Men Who Stare at Goats

Hugh Dancy and Catalina Sandino Moreno for Gap

2008-12-05T12:02:00.000-08:00

Hugh Dancy: “Make up your own philosophy”

Swedish lensman Mikael Jansson shot Gap’s fall 2008 ad campaign with actor Joseph Fiennes, Englishman Hugh Dancy, and Academy Award nominee Catalina Sandino Moreno as his subjects.

This year’s theme is “Create Your Own Gap” and each picture is accompanied by a fill-in-the-blank tagline. Actor Hugh Dancy, philosopher Jonathan Dancy's son, wrote “Make up your own philosophy”; Joseph Fiennes, a staunch philanthropist involved with several charities, jotted down “Craft your own calling,” while Colombian actress Catalina Sandino Moreno scribbled “Invent your own rules.”

Sandino Moreno has two new films slated for release next year: Steven Soderbergh's The Argentine and Guerrilla. Both are biopics of Che Guevara—Marxist revolutionary, military strategist, and guerrilla leader.

When Sandino Moreno wrote “Invent your own rules,” she wasn’t kidding at all.

Colombian actress Catalina Sandino Moreno

Cinema One Originals Film Festival 2008

2008-11-29T09:19:00.000-08:00

Yanggaw dominated the 2008 Cinema One Originals Film Festival, winning the Audience Choice Award, Best Director (Richard Somes), Best Actor (Ronnie Lazaro), Best Supporting Actor (Joel Torre), Best Supporting Actress (Tetchie Agbayani), Best Editing (Borgy Torre), and Best Sound (Joey Santos and Eduardo Velasquez).

Alon, a brooding love story shot in Zambales, won three awards. It took home Best Actor (Mark Gil tied with Lazaro), Best Actress (Charee Pineda), and Best Musical Score (Leujim Martinez).

Kolorete (a period drama written by Sherad Sanchez) was left pecking at scraps; it won Best Production Design (Wilfredo Calderon).

Sanchez, nevertheless, had the last laugh. Although his film, Imburnal—a cinematic tour de force set in Matina Aplaya, Davao—didn’t exceed the number of awards won by Yanggaw, it took home the festival’s most coveted prize: Best Picture. It also won Best Screenplay (for Sanchez) and Best Cinematography (John Torres, Joel Geolamen, Mark Limbaga).

This year’s nominees—Yanggaw, Imburnal, Alon, Kolorete, Dose, MotorCYCLE, and UPCAT—surpassed last year's entries in terms of scope and quality.
Grace Alfonso of U.P., Lito Zulueta of the Philippine Daily Inquirer, filmmaker Brillante Mendoza (Serbis), actress Eugene Domingo, and director Jeffrey Jeturian (Kubrador) are this year's jury.

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Cinema One Originals will be screening at Robinsons Galleria
from December 3-16, 2008

Burn After Reading (2008)

2008-11-15T10:15:00.000-08:00

What happens when an alcoholic CIA analyst collides with two blondes from Washington DC? Mayhem ensues, the unthinkable happens, and everything spins in a grizzly, riotous uproar.

In Burn After Reading, Frances McDormand plays Linda Litzke, a ditzy woman obsessed with vanity and cosmetic surgery. When a friend comes across a mysterious CD containing vital CIA information, Linda suggests he “put a note in the ladies’ locker room.”

“Put up a note?” Chad (Brad Pitt) asks incredulously. “ ‘Hello, did anybody lose her secret CIA shit?’ I don’t think so.”

Pitt’s Chad Feldheimer provides the perfect foil to McDormand’s Linda Litzke. Manic and combustible, Pitt brings the house down with his harried, frenzied style of acting.

With Pitt lighting up every scene, Burn After Reading starts off well. However, the film tries too hard to be funny that it eventually chokes, falling flat on the floor gasping for air.

It didn't take long before I realize that the joke's on me. Feeling shortchanged, I initially thought of approaching the ticket booth and asking for a refund.

DVD: Imoral (2008)

2008-11-11T08:51:00.000-08:00

Adolfo Alix's Imoral was made available in DVD four months after it debuted in Cinemalaya. Although the disc's speedy release is greatly appreciated, its noticeable bungle in the features department is a big letdown.

No subtitles, no theatrical trailers, no scene selection.

Surprisingly, an extensive gallery of the cast and a nice video of the film's theme song were included. Sang by actor Arnold Reyes, "Kung Ako Ba S'ya" makes this DVD, somehow, worth it.

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (1997)

2008-11-01T06:16:00.000-07:00

Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion has something polished, muted high school flicks like Heathers can only dream of: blunt, straight up humor.

“We don't care if you like us ’cause we don't like you! You’re a bad person with an ugly heart, and we don’t give a flying fuck what you think!”

That’s Romy (Mira Sorvino) by the way.

“I hope your babies look like monkeys!”

Now that’s Michele (Lisa Kudrow), acting all bitter.

Here’s more for posterity's sake. Gobble up.

ROMY: Swear to God, sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.

MICHELE: Do you want to try to see if we are?
ROMY: What? Yeah right, Michelle. Just the idea of having sex with another woman creeps me out. But if we're still single at 30, ask me again.
MICHELE: Okay.

MICHELE: I'm the Mary and you're the Rhoda!
ROMY: You’re the Rhoda, you're the Jewish one!

ROMY: You have absolutely no proof that you're cuter!
MICHELE: Oh, proof. You want proof? Okay, fine. Who lost their virginity first?
ROMY: Oh big wow, with your cousin Barry! I wouldn't brag about it!

Television: Survivor Gabon

2008-10-05T02:09:00.001-07:00

THERE SHE IS! That's Gillian (extreme right)

All’s not well in Eden.

Shot in Gabon, Africa, Survivor’s 17th installment is bogged down by daft contestants who just won’t let up.

Gillian, a 61-year-old retired nurse from sun-drenched California, takes the cake for simply being her sunny, helpful self. Eager to prove her worth, she scoops elephant droppings from the jungle, then urges her tribemates at Fang to consume the grainy muck for sustenance.

While Fang is heavily populated by inept, indecisive players, Kota’s synergy as a group is admirable. Ace, 27, calls the shots around camp, while Charlie, 29, stays under the radar, letting Ace take all the blame.

Charlie wastes no time in hooking up with Marcus, Kota's resident dreamboat, then recruits Corinne and Jacquie for their “onion” union. With his boy next door veneer and good persuasion skills, Charlie it seems, was born to play “Survivor.” The one thing distracting him is his growing affection for Marcus. “Ever since I saw him on the mat and he picked me, I just felt this connection in his deep blue beautiful eyes,” he reveals.

Here’s hoping he keeps his eyes fixed on the million dollars. With Marcus strutting in his peripheral 24/7, that’s easier said than done.

BOY TALK: Charlie (right) with Marcus

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"Survivor: Gabon" airs on Q every Saturday @ 5.30pm

Cassandra’s Dream (2007)

2008-09-19T11:31:00.000-07:00

Ewan McGregor is Ian, an ambitious go-getter keen on doing business in California; Colin Farrell is Terry, Ian’s younger brother. When both find themselves in a situation in which money is their only ticket out, they get their hands dirty and take matters into their own hands. Burdened by shame, Terry cracks under pressure. “I want to turn myself in,” he mumbles

Ian almost falls off their boat. “What?!”

“We broke God’s law.”

“God?!” Ian cries incredulously. “What god?! You idiot!"

It’s good to know that Woody Allen hasn’t lost his flair for writing. Many say his glory days are over, that Cassandra’s Dream is part of his filmography’s long line of misfires and flops.

Maybe, maybe not.

Hope flies high with Allen’s new film, Vicky Cristina Barcelona. It’s good that he shot Barcelona in sunny Oviedo; Match Point notwithstanding, London wasn’t particularly helpful to his career.

James McAvoy in Mean

2008-09-13T10:45:00.000-07:00