Sunday, January 30, 2011

Essential Movie Lines: 2009

When it comes to picking the year's best screenplays, comedies are usually overlooked in favor of heartrending, cry-till-your-kidneys-burst dramas. Too much value is placed on depth and sobriety that we forget how hard it is to come up with a good punchline. Just when we think all is lost,Brüno sashays into our lives and zaps our inner zen. Kudos to scriptwriters Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Mazer and Jeff Schaffer for making crass, deeply offensive jokes slightly bearable. Here's something to remember them by:

Brüno: "So, you were never gay?"
Pastor Jody Trautwein: "Mm-hm."
Brüno: "It's ironic that you should have amazing blowjob lips."
Pastor Jody Trautwein: "These lips were made to praise Jesus!"

Here are more memorable lines from some of 2009's best written movies. Let's start the year with fun and laughter — and, hopefully, less gas.


Mark: "When my grandfather died, there was one candle next to his bed. And the candle started flickering. We all thought it was him going to Heaven, you know?"
Leo: "You don't pass through fire to get to Heaven. I think he went to Hell."
—from Funny People (screenplay by Judd Apatow)

Lt. Gen. George Miller: "You're beautiful."
Karen Clarke: "Oh, thank you. I'm sure you say that to all the girls."
Lt. Gen. George Miller: "Yes, I do, and some of the soldiers, too."
—from In the Loop (screenplay by Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando
Iannucci and Tony Roche)

Headmistress: "He's a Jew? You're aware, I take it, that the Jews killed our Lord?"
Jenny: "And you're aware, I suppose, that our Lord was Jewish?"
—from An Education (screenplay by Nick Hornby)

Sam Bell: "You look like a radioactive tampon—like a banana with a yeast infection."
—from Moon (screenplay by Nathan Parker)

Ryan Bingham: "I thought I was a part of your life."
Alex Goran: "You are an escape. You're a break from our normal lives. You're a parenthesis."
Ryan Bingham: "I'm a parenthesis?"
—from Up in the Air (screenplay by Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner)