Sunday, April 12, 2009

What's Tact Got to Do With It?

Corporate drones may be many things, but tactful isn't one of them.

The person seated to my right accused me of being a virgin. I ignored her and told the girl in front of me that she's a blood-sucking vampire. The person to my left joined in the fray by saying that someone in the office was the same age as Tutankhamun.

I creased my brows. "Tutan-who?"

"King Tut, a long dead pharaoh from Egypt," replied the guy on my right.


"Before, I thought 'Siquijor' literally means land of the whore," said the guy seated beside me. He's European. "We're going there on Holy Week."

"You're in for a surprise," said the girl to my right. "Warlocks and mystics will be converging there next week."

He smiled.

Sister Karma, on the other hand, wasn't too amused. On our way down the elevator, we got stuck midway between the 12th floor and the 11th floor. Someone suggested we force open the steel doors. When we did, we found ourselves facing a concrete wall. Next to GMA's inauguration, it's the most depressing thing I've seen in my entire life.

It was then that we realized that we're trapped. There were seven of us in the elevator and we were sweating like hogs on their way to the butcher shop.

While I panic, the people I'm with seemed to be having the time of their lives. They were taking pictures of themselves, cracking jokes, and laughing like we're in a Bar Mitzvah somewhere in Queens.

When someone at the back declared a state of emergency ("Guys, I feel like farting"), reality suddenly sunk in.

The person in front of me turned around, then banged his hands repeatedly on the wall, saying, "Help, help! Let us out!"


Thor Bee said...

Are you still stuck in the elevator? Hehe.

"When we did, we found ourselves facing a concrete wall. Next to GMA's inauguration, it's the most depressing thing I've seen in my entire life."

You're so funneh! Sounds like you work at the U.N. :p

Visual Velocity said...

Thor Bee: Uhm, I don't work for the U.N., although I wish I do, ehehehe.

Working for the U.N. must be nirvana. I'm thinking,
maybe they have 14th month pay and 2 months VL? Heaven.

dreamwalker said...

Let's doh it again?

You forgot your lines:

"Dapat pala umihi muna ako bago umalis."

"I'm never going back here again!" -->with all the angst in the world! Well, the elevator...

Visual Velocity said...

dreamwalker: Thanks for reminding me. Swear to god, I'm never going back there ever again. Ehehehe.

The Scud said...

bwahahaa.. natawa naman ako. buti naman at di ka naiyak. hehe.

someone also told me that last year. the v thing. i didn't mind even though it wasn't true. mukha pa rin pala akong totoy. hehe.

Visual Velocity said...

The Scud: Yeah, you have a point there. Come to think of it, it's a good thing. At least mukha tayong inosente. Fresh, sariwa. We can use that to our advantage. Ehehehehe. :-)

Unknown said...

the last part is the highlight! this post made me laugh. definitely the humor post of the day.

i never experienced being trapped in an elevator yet.

happy easter!

Visual Velocity said...

dong ho: Thanks Dong! Believe me, you wouldn't want to experience what I experienced. It was scary as hell. Muka pa namang coffin yung interiors ng elevator na yun. Ehehehe.

Yas Jayson said...

""When we did, we found ourselves facing a concrete wall. Next to GMA's inauguration, it's the most depressing thing I've seen in my entire life.""

-haha my favorite line too. apir!

[@andy briones: haha tama! gee, na-miss ko din ang pizza this holy week. yey! ehe. sa opis ka din nagsusulat? apir!]

Visual Velocity said...

elYAS: You know me, my love for GMA knows no bounds. :p

Raft3r said...

now i know kung bakit tagal mo di post dito
you were stuck in the elevator
alam mo sexual fantasy ko yan
minus the farting, syempre

Visual Velocity said...

Raft3r: Oo, na-stuck ako sa elevator kaya hindi ako nakapag-post, ehehehe.

May sexual fantasy ka sa elevator? Ang tigas dun at ang init pa, hirap mag kama sutra dun ah. :p

Raft3r said...

i find elevators sexy

Visual Velocity said...

Raft3r: Good lord....

Please don't tell me you've had the privilege of making out with someone in an elevator. o_O

Just for the record, the elevator I got stuck in was scary as shit. Mejo funerial ang dating: the lighting, the wood panels on the side, everything.

Buti na nga lang may mga kasama ako dun; mas mapra-praning siguro ako kung mag-isa lang ako. :p

Raft3r said...

sounds exciting
btw, may GMA post ako
alam ko fave mo yon, eh

Visual Velocity said...



Huwow, you have a GMA post? Nice, I'm dying, dying, DYING, to read it. :p :p :p

bioniclugaw said...

huwatta scary experience. the worst thing is while you're trapped inside the elevator, bigla kang nagkaLBM and you're not sure when maayos yung elevator. haha.

oo nga noh, siquijor, parang city of whores? weird.

nice blogging pare. thanks pala sa visit sa lungga ko. keep on blogging!

Visual Velocity said...

bioniclugaw: Yeah, my elevator experience was pretty insane. Sama nga eh, wasn't able to go to the bathroom to pee beforehand, so you can just imagine how stressed I was when we got stuck midway between the 12th and 11th floor, ehehehe.

Love your blog, by the way; will be visiting more often in the future. =)

Raft3r said...

andy, jodie foster post mo nasan na? inip nako. hehe

Visual Velocity said...

Raft3r: I thought you forgot na, hindi pa pala, ehehehe. Can I do something else instead? Besides Jodie and Janet, who else do you like?

Anonymous said...

LOL i would assume na nagawa nilang aliwin ang sarili nila kahit na nakakapanic ang matrap sa elevator but when it is fart we are talking about - that ahs got to be scary. but in fairness sinabi niya ha.

Visual Velocity said...


That's the thing with me and my officemates: we may be tactless, but we're definitely honest. Too honest in fact. Ehehehe.