Burn After Reading (2008)

What happens when an alcoholic CIA analyst collides with two blondes from Washington DC? Mayhem ensues, the unthinkable happens, and everything spins in a grizzly, riotous uproar.

In Burn After Reading, Frances McDormand plays Linda Litzke, a ditzy woman obsessed with vanity and cosmetic surgery. When a friend comes across a mysterious CD containing vital CIA information, Linda suggests he “put a note in the ladies’ locker room.”

“Put up a note?” Chad (Brad Pitt) asks incredulously. “ ‘Hello, did anybody lose her secret CIA shit?’ I don’t think so.”

Pitt’s Chad Feldheimer provides the perfect foil to McDormand’s Linda Litzke. Manic and combustible, Pitt brings the house down with his harried, frenzied style of acting.

With Pitt lighting up every scene, Burn After Reading starts off well. However, the film tries too hard to be funny that it eventually chokes, falling flat on the floor gasping for air.

It didn't take long before I realize that the joke's on me. Feeling shortchanged, I initially thought of approaching the ticket booth and asking for a refund.

DVD: Imoral (2008)

Adolfo Alix's Imoral was made available in DVD four months after it debuted in Cinemalaya. Although the disc's speedy release is greatly appreciated, its noticeable bungle in the features department is a big letdown.

No subtitles, no theatrical trailers, no scene selection.

Surprisingly, an extensive gallery of the cast and a nice video of the film's theme song were included. Sang by actor Arnold Reyes, "Kung Ako Ba S'ya" makes this DVD, somehow, worth it.

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (1997)

Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion has something polished, muted high school flicks like Heathers can only dream of: blunt, straight up humor.

“We don't care if you like us ’cause we don't like you! You’re a bad person with an ugly heart, and we don’t give a flying fuck what you think!”

That’s Romy (Mira Sorvino) by the way.

“I hope your babies look like monkeys!”

Now that’s Michele (Lisa Kudrow), acting all bitter.

Here’s more for posterity's sake. Gobble up.

ROMY: Swear to God, sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.

MICHELE: Do you want to try to see if we are?
ROMY: What? Yeah right, Michelle. Just the idea of having sex with another woman creeps me out. But if we're still single at 30, ask me again.
MICHELE: Okay.

MICHELE: I'm the Mary and you're the Rhoda!
ROMY: You’re the Rhoda, you're the Jewish one!

ROMY: You have absolutely no proof that you're cuter!
MICHELE: Oh, proof. You want proof? Okay, fine. Who lost their virginity first?
ROMY: Oh big wow, with your cousin Barry! I wouldn't brag about it!

Television: Survivor Gabon

THERE SHE IS! That's Gillian (extreme right)

All’s not well in Eden.

Shot in Gabon, Africa, Survivor’s 17th installment is bogged down by daft contestants who just won’t let up.

Gillian, a 61-year-old retired nurse from sun-drenched California, takes the cake for simply being her sunny, helpful self. Eager to prove her worth, she scoops elephant droppings from the jungle, then urges her tribemates at Fang to consume the grainy muck for sustenance.

While Fang is heavily populated by inept, indecisive players, Kota’s synergy as a group is admirable. Ace, 27, calls the shots around camp, while Charlie, 29, stays under the radar, letting Ace take all the blame.

Charlie wastes no time in hooking up with Marcus, Kota's resident dreamboat, then recruits Corinne and Jacquie for their “onion” union. With his boy next door veneer and good persuasion skills, Charlie it seems, was born to play “Survivor.” The one thing distracting him is his growing affection for Marcus. “Ever since I saw him on the mat and he picked me, I just felt this connection in his deep blue beautiful eyes,” he reveals.

Here’s hoping he keeps his eyes fixed on the million dollars. With Marcus strutting in his peripheral 24/7, that’s easier said than done.

BOY TALK: Charlie (right) with Marcus

_______________
"Survivor: Gabon" airs on Q every Saturday @ 5.30pm